Yet again our desire to see the glorious Sky Blues perform has been jinxed by an England game we can frankly do without. So why can’t we just ditch the international qualifiers says Soccer 365’s Howard Johnson?

The last week’s been as dull as ditchwater as far as I’m concerned and has only gone to prove what many English football fans already know, but few within the game seem to want us to express. That we all hate international football.

Honestly, I really, truly couldn’t give a monkey’s what happens to the Italian-born manager Fabio Capello and his absurd, indecent salary, nor to his team of under-motivated and underwhelming Englishmen. Whether they qualify for the European Championships, the World Cup Finals or the South London Tiddlywinks Challenge is of no interest to me. I’m of the opinion that as a sporting spectacle, the endless international qualification matches are considerably less exciting than a party political conference and about as useful. The world of football would be a better place if the international teams to compete at any major international championship were drawn at random out of a paper bag, rather than having to go through the seemingly interminable process of endless games against no end of other countries, where the players look slightly less motivated by the whole affair than I am. The English national team is like the English Commonwealth, a fading institution that seems to have outlived its usefulness and that very few people seem to want or care for any more.

Answer me this. If you’re into English football what are you more excited by? A weekend with a full Premiership league programme or a Friday night international game against Montenegro? A chance to see the best players in the entire world battling it out in full stadiums populated by genuinely passionate fans or a Euro qualifier with a half-baked team in a half-full ground? Quite seriously, the worst Premiership game you can imagine – say Sunderland against Wigan on a Monday night – is ten times more appetising than yet another bloody England match. And international friendlies? Don’t even get me started on international friendlies! When City’s best players have to pack up and go off halfway round the world to represent their country in a match that does nothing but fill the coffers of some far-flung federation, then return knackered beyond belief for the next weekend’s full-blooded Premiership encounter, well that really makes my blood boil!

Am I more proud of City’s sky blue shirt than the white of England? You bet your life I am! Would I rather watch Manchester City’s reserves rather than Capello’s ‘crack’ troops? Abso-bloody-lutely. Would I prefer to be locked in a sky blue trunk without a key for a year rather than enjoy lavish corporate hospitality at an England game at Wembley? Well let’s not be silly here, but you get my point, don’t you?

I’d say that the vast majority of English football fans are way more partisan when it comes to their club side of choice than the international outfit that a simple accident of birth has unwittingly foisted on them. For a start, whenever England play you have a misguided sense of loyalty – born out of some bizarre social pressure – that means you have to pretend you actually don’t find the players who wear the club colours of your bitterest local rivals utterly repulsive. I’m supposed to be happy when Wayne Rooney scores, when Rio Ferdinand tweets ‘Come On England’ and when Danny Welbeck talks about himself in the third person. Well sorry, but that’s not how it works for me.

England win. England lose. Frankly it’s all the same to me. When Frank Lampard’s ‘goal’ wasn’t given against Germany in the last World Cup I can’t exactly say I was jumping out of my seat with indignation. What I experienced was more like an overwhelming sense of ‘whatever’, while idly wondering how long it would be before City’s pre-season campaign began.

So you see, all of this means that if I could do away with international football altogether it wouldn’t exactly ruin my day. Well, on reflection that’s probably a bit extreme. What I think we should do is have a European Championship and a World Cup where the teams are drawn out of a hat (seriously) and we leave it at that. Give the teams three weeks to get together and work out a game plan and then let’s get it on. England always play like a bunch of strangers anyway, so it won’t make any difference. And that way we can forget all about this overabundance of international football, England’s tedious hooligans – who only really seem to come into their own when they’re united behind the St George flag – can get on with something more productive, like knitting, and the footballing world will be a much happier place.

So now that I’ve got all that off my chest I can start thinking about the big stuff, the important stuff – City’s meeting with the Villa this weekend. Because you’ve got a football match that really matters right there!